by richard teague tinynascars@yahoo.com
A Whole Tribe This Week! Oh NO! Mr. Bill, Junior had another ‘injun blow up this week, and I bet I know who did it. Could it have been the evil step-mother? Or did he inflict it on himself? Whichever it was, they didn’t stop at Dale Jr.’s car, and they sabotaged all of DEI’s and RCR’s drivers, but just didn’t do a good enough job on Kevin or Clint. Now on Paul’s car the jury is out, ‘cause he was in the “Big One” so we won’t know for sure. My thinking is that when I wrote my thoughts about Jr. being the saboteur and not Teresa, he figured to get me off the scent he would do everybody’s ride for Dega and all the fans (myself included) would just think it was the new restrictor plate and not some plot against the free world of NA$CAR. (Y’all paying attention so far about how I’m using the $ sign? told ya I would be from now on).
Does he think I fell off a turnip truck with the ruse of claiming that three thirty seconds of an inch would make “la difference” and that 75 to 80 more horsies under the hood could make an ‘injun puke? Come on, whoever is undermining the number eight car you need to get up pretty early in the afternoon to pull the wool over my glasses, ya hear? After all, look at all the other Chevrolets that were still in the race at the end. I didn’t see the Hendrick’s or Gibb’s drivers leave the race after the dreaded white puff or cloud of smoke marked the failed engine. Heck, there were six of them in the top ten, with four Dodges and a Toyota, so the plate must not really be the reason. I just want to let all the parties involved in this conspiracy know that I AM WATCHING and I am thinking about bringing in that Monk guy from TV to help me solve this case.
Speaking of a Toyota in the top ten this week-- what about that Michael Waltrip on the pole at Talladega and a total of four of them starting in the first six spots? The rest of the top ten starters were two Chevys, three Dodges and a single Ford, but it sure didn’t end with a ratio like that. By finish time there were no Fords, one Toyota down from the weird starting field and the Dodges held their own with three of them in the top ten. The ones that really showed were the Chevrolets. By puttin’ six of’em in the top ten finishers with the winner coming from the 34th starting position. Way to go Jeffy!! By the way, did ESPN on ABC happen to show a replay of him passing Jimmie Johnson on the last lap? I had to get back out to my burgers and dogs on the grill before they burned, so I didn’t see. I’ll have to borrow my bud’s tape of the race to see it. Dang fools should have known that Gordon was going to pass Johnson. Oh well.
I was talking to my good friend John on Saturday, after Waltrip qualified first for the Cup race, and I asked him if he had heard who had got the pole. When I told him Mikey did, he kind of laughed and said “Well, maybe they got their big track racing down finally.” I don’t know about that, and I wondered if anybody had checked the intake manifold of Waltrip’s car to see if there was a foreign substance in there or not, you know, like at Daytona. That was kind of redundant to think like that because even the NA$CAR grounds keepers were checking that baby out. The real funny thing is that Michael Waltrip will for sure be in the next Bud Shootout come 2008 even if NA$CAR makes any changes in the format or something. I will say this: it was kind of neat to see him and Junior drafting on the lead lap up front together like old times, wasn’t it?
While I’m back on the subject of Dale Jr. I wanted to say a word or two about how he wrecked Kyle Busch last week at Kansas. I know I will get some emails about my next statement from the Junior fans, so let ’er rip if you want, but Dale Earnhardt Jr. did a dumb thing. Yeah sure, he said he was sorry and he was at fault and he read Busch wrong on what he was going to do, but why race him so hard, you’re not in the Chase and he is? I mean, dude, you took his job and now you take him from the chance to win a championship. I have lost respect for Earnhardt because of what he’s done this season. Even if he is Gordon and Johnson’s new team mate, he won’t get my respect back. Will he try and be the “Big Dog” at Hendrick Motorsports in 2008? Or will he work with the other drivers there like he did some what with Waltrip? Next year something will give at Hendrick’s ‘cause there will be just too many stars in the heavens over there.
OK, back to the Dega and the race with the New Car or COT or whatever else you want to call that piece of crap. Man, I cannot accept that car even after the other week when I said it was growing on me (and really it was) but to see it on a super speedway made me realize I was kidding myself. There is NO WAY that car will ever be as exciting to me as the “Old Car” or that I will ever like the blooming thing. I may have found an answer to my plight and that is NA$CAR with the announcement of Nationwide as the new sponsor for the Busch Series next year, they said there may be a car design change for that series soon. If that is the case I may have new drivers to root for in a few years, wait a minute, several of my drivers now are “Buschwhackers” so there might not be a problem.
The way I hear it is that NA$CAR instead of a Car of Tomorrow for the (Busch for now and Nationwide for latter) other series, will be a Car of the Past. Now that is the smartest thing I have heard NA$CAR do since Brian France took over and I bet ya he didn’t have a thing to do with it. With all the big three car makers coming out with these concept cars and remaking the old “Muscle” cars like with the Mustang, the Camaro and one of my favorites the Dodge Challenger I’ll dang sure love that!! Gooooooood Byeeeeeeee whatever name you are when that happens. I’m dumping Cup and watching Nationwide. Damn, that is going to be real hard to get used to, ain’t it? Anyway I’ll be waiting in front of my TV, my 42” wide flat screen, baby, or by then I’ll have a bigger one. Y’all know how us men always want a bigger one don’t ya?
Well, I think I will cut it just a tad short this week, since it was such a long race and I know we are all tired and want to get to bed. Still got a couple more things to do before I can take the Coco dog out and you know how that goes. A woman works from sun up to sun down and a man’s work is never done. This week I’m not telling you how to contact me like I usually do because I know I made a Junior fan or two mad. So if you feel the need you’ll just have to look for last week’s copy of EU somewhere and that address that is in the heading of my column this week no longer works, well maybe it does, but please forgive an old man and his ramblings, you’ll be this old one day, and I would forgive you. Remember, if it ain’t NA$CAR, it ain’t s**t!!
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